this orphaned star in me
spins out of season
I am lost for guidance
clutching at anything that seems
more valuable than my abject
lack, the vacuum of absence
rolling to a stop I realize
I’ve ceased peddling
ceased to meditate
mistook myself for momentum
hanging my head
how can I get anywhere?
I find surplus of pride
trying to blind the sun
and shout down mountains
singing to the birds of birdsong
I am a fountain in the sea
afraid of taking on water
let me let go and try to be
seek the infinite in the infinitive
and be less isolated
by my wall of judgments
I am bereft in pride
deprived of my humanity
weary I must stay propped
head in hands atop observatory
through this night however long
and keep an eye to heaven
until at last this lonely star
navigates to view and gives direction
